How The Grinch Killed The Scoobies
by JossWhedonGirl
Summary: This is the story of The First's final struggle against the Scoobies, set to the format of Dr. Suess' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.


Every Scooby down in Sunnydale hated demons a lot. But The First, who lived under Sunnydale, did not. The First loved its demons, the whole demon breedin'. Now please don't ask why, we all know the reason. It's not that its head was of a frightful shape, Or that at its feet people would gape. The one and only reason of all, Was that its dark heart was really quite small. But whatever the reason, by choice or fate, It was the Scoobies The First did hate. Sitting underground with a sour evil frown, Plotting revenge on this one Starbucks town. For he knew the Scoobies were slaying above his head, Were killing his demons, every encounter on was dead. "And they're doing this cheerfully!" He said with a sneer. If he were corporeal, he'd drown his sorrows in beer. Then he growled with his evil fingers drumming. "I must find a way to stop these deaths from coming." Tomorrow he knew all the Scooby girls and boys, Would set out at sunset armed with their toys. And then! Oh the pain, oh the pain. Pain, pain, pain! More of his demons would be slain. Slain, slain, slain! Then the slayer and slayerettes would sit down and be glad. And be glad, and be glad, and be glad. Glad, glad, glad! They'd munch on popcorn and pretzels, they would. All were alive, this wasn't good! And then they'd do something he didn't much want, All the Scoobs, not at all fearing his haunt. They'd curl up in their beds, falling to sleep. They'd sleep, and they'd sleep, and they'd sleep! Sleep, sleep, sleep! The more The First thought of this mortal sleep, The more The First thought, "I must make them weep!" "Why for uncounted years, I've put up with this now." "I must stop them from waking, of course! But how?" Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The First got a wonderful, awful idea. "I know just what I'll do!" He said with now heed. And he called upon the Bringers to carry his deed. He smiled and laughed, "How fun this will be!" "All the Harbingers here, will all work for me!" "All I need is a hot brand..." The First looked around. Being incorporeal he couldn't us it once found. Did that stop The First? No! The First simply said, "If I can't do it, I'll make you instead!" He explained to the Bringer, who finally realized, It picked up the iron and branded their eyes. Then he pointed the way to a Scooby home. Seeing everything he watched them roam. The First said, "Hurry up!" And the Bringers they ran, To the slayer, cooled gently, by the breeze of a fan. Her window was dark, her room filled with cool air. Buffy dreamt a prophetic dream, her advantage unfair. Without invitations they entered her lair, "This is kill number one!" The First's breath causing a mist. Buffy woke up, to watch, not raising a fist. They walked to her bed, Buffy was fearing the worst. She knew who had sent them, it must be The First. She lay there real quiet, for a moment or two. Then she jumped up, her fists of fury flew. The Bringers, they stayed all in a row. "How ugly." She said, "You're the first ones to go." They slumped to the floor, with a smell most unpleasant. She thought of The First as she left him a present. Broken legs, broken teeth, and don't forget thumbs. Whole arms, necks, and knees, all of the bums. They laid on the floor, she was watching them there. To each she gave, one by one, a Slayer glare. She ran to Giles' to help defend his apartment, The place was trashed, she felt what in her heart meant. She killed them all quickly, in one single flash, It's what always had happened at a slayer bash. She began to cry and feeling no glee, "Giles!" She screamed, "I will avenge thee!" She sank to her knees and started to rock, When she heard a small noise, the click of a lock. She turned around fast, and before she could blink, Saw Giles standing there, hand holding a drink. Giles stared at Buffy and said "Please tell me why!" "Why did you make a mess of my house, why?" But, you knew this young girl was sarcastic at sight. She bit her lip and crossed her arms tight. "We wanted a party." The slayer did say. "They got a little rowdy, I killed them, okay?" "They wanted a drink, I see you have booze," "A little too late, they're down for their snooze." The sarcasm confused the watcher, he just shook his head. He climbed the stairs still holding his cup, Buffy went off to see if Xander was up. The last thing she saw was a coat on a chair, She shivered as she realized, Olivia was there. The last thing she wanted was to be near that woman and man, So she put on a burst of speed as she ran. She left the Harbingers lying in his living room, That sight would surely put Olivia in a tomb. Not just the living room, all of the rooms, Many a Bringer was sent to its tomb. Xander was sleeping, still in his bed. A few scattered bowls showed he'd been fed. Laid on the floor like Christmas time wrapping, He sliced, and he diced, he killed before napping. Many feet below, under Sunnydale, The First was excited his plan couldn't fail. "Death to the Scoobs!" He was evilly humming. "They're finding out now that no daylight is coming." "The people that find them, I know just what they'll do." "They won't do a thing, because I'll kill them too." "Then I'll be happy, my enemies are few." "That's a noise," Grinned The First, "That I simply won't hear." So to prove to himself, he put his hand to his ear. But he did hear a sound from above the ground. He listened so hard his head started to pound. But this sound wasn't silent, why this sounded merry. It couldn't be so! But it was merry! Very! He stared up at Sunnydale, The First popped his eyes, Then he shook! What he heard was a shocking surprise. Every Scoob up in Sunnydale, the young and the old, Were happy! Without their death to be told! He hadn't stopped consciousness from coming! It came! Somehow or other it came just the same! And The First with his feet incorporeal, just there, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "It just isn't fair!" "It came without decay, it came without death." "It came without them even losing their breath." And he puzzled for hours, till his puzzler was sore, Then The First thought of something he hadn't before. "Maybe death," He thought, "Really can't come from me." "Maybe death...perhaps...is for fate to see." And what happened then? Well in Sunnydale they say, Buffy came and kicked his ass that day. The minute her muscles began to feel tight, She slayed above ground, it was a good sight. She save the town! They sat down to feast. Attempts on their life The First had ceased. 


End file.
